Church Hurt
July 2019
Church Hurt is defined as emotional or physical pain felt by someone; inflected by the words, actions, or inactions of a person of leadership in a church, congregation of the church, or person who represents the church.
Church hurt is real. The effects of this experience can last for an indefinite amount of time; affecting a person's relationship with a particular church, church in general, God, and a person's ability to fellowship or connect with a congregation (the members of the church).
Church hurt affects the individual person and their household (for example: how and what they teach their children, how and if the family attends any church, etc.).
Church hurt - even when inflicted on one person - impacts:
Witnesses - the person or people of the church who may have been a witness to the hurt
The Church - When church hurt results in the person leaving the church, the ministry is missing an important person and the talents God has given them to use for His church.
The Body of Christ - church hurt affects the entire body of Christ because it is through that pain the church will be reflected. This can feed other's negative ideas and misunderstandings of the call for fellowship and assembly, or being a Christian.
"Churches are not museums that display perfect people. They are hospitals where the wounded, hurt, injured, and broken find healing." --Unknown
Churches are imperfect because people are imperfect.
What the Bible Says About Perfections and Perfect People:
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins. --Ecclesiastics 7:2 English Standard Version (ESV)
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. --Matthew 7:1-2 ESV
As it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one;" --Romans 3:10 ESV
The Answer is Forgiveness
How does the Bible tell us to deal with church hurt?
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you --Ephesians 4:32 ESV
Forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us --Matthew 6:12
Be aware of how you treat others. Pay attention to your words and actions. This affects the relationship between you and your brother or sister and then directly affects everyone's relationship with God’s church.
How should we treat our brothers and sisters in Christ?
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. --Luke 6:31 ESV
As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. --Romans 14:1 ESV
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. --Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. -- Proverbs 15:1 ESV
The acknowledgment or apology we wait for from those who hurt us may never come. This does not determine how, or if, forgiveness should be granted.
God commands Forgiveness of others so that He can forgive us and so that we can give ourselves the gift of peace.
See the Facebook Live Recordings of the Church Hurt Sessions @NewCreationBibleNLR. See the links below to each session*:
*Facebook Live Videos are the property of New Creation Bible Church (2019)
Other Resources**
Title: 6 Things to Do When You've Been Hurt By the Church
Description: What are the steps you can take to move from hurt to whole through redirected focus forgiveness, and time in God's Word.
Link: https://www.ibelieve.com/relationships/6-things-to-do-when-you-ve-been-hurt-by-the-church.html
Title: Help In Overcoming Church Hurt
Description: Church Hurt is not new. Passage example of church hurt and what you can do to prevail through.
Title: How to Deal with Church Hurt
Description: Youtube Video - Allen Parr (of The Beat) How do you respond after church hurt (you aren't alone).
Title: How to Heal From Church Hurt
Description: Quitting the church after a hurt is not an option.
Title: Church Hurt
Description: Audio clip of Erica Campbell's discussion of Church Hurt
**All "other resources" are the property of their perspective owners.
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